Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Are You Fighting With Self-Doubt and Low Self Esteem After an Affair?


Dealing with an affair in your relationship is probably one of the hardest things any couple must deal with. There are obviously many relationship issues that need to be worked out, but one thing I find many women cope with after an affair is the feeling that they have no self-confidence or self-respect.

But thoughts like these aren?t going to help heal and put things back together. Here are 3 tips to help you regain your confidence, self-image, and respect after you find out your husband cheated on you.

Claim Responsibility ? Naturally, I am not trying to say that you are to blame for your husband?s decision to cheat. That was ultimately a choice he made. Nonetheless you must realize you?re responsible for how you feel and how you react to your everyday life.

Certainly you have known two different people that react against the same thing in very different ways. This is down to the fact that of their individual life experiences and what they believe about themselves, others, and the world as a whole. The point is that you can decide how to react against the turmoils in your life, and you alone are responsible for your own contentment and well-being. As long as you are dependent on something outside of yourself to feel good, you will always be at the whims of destiny and other?s fickle emotions.

Accept That It Occurred - Another problem that many people have is they resist the undeniable fact that their spouse cheated. They struggle with the idea and try and push it away. Nonetheless this is not the reality of what occurred.

You must accept that it really did happen. This, naturally, doesn?t suggest that you need to be OK with it. You can still feel bad about your situation, but by learning to accept that it happened rather than resisting it, hiding from it, or otherwise pushing it away, you can free up lots of emotional energy. You need to use this energy for more constructive stuff like dealing with the feelings or taking your life and your relationship in a positive direction.

Shed Negativity - Odds are good that if there had been an affair, then there?s a problem in your relationship. Perhaps the both of you are experiencing emotional distance from each other. Perhaps there is bitterness between the two of you. Or maybe the both of you fought and disagreed often.

The next thing you have to do to begin enjoying your life again and reconstructing your marriage (if you decide to), is to start correcting these problems in your relationship. This is the key to releasing bad feelings and beginning to have a good time and enjoy life again.

Dealing with an affair is difficult, and in numerous respects the hardest part is rebuilding your own sense of self and confidence. But with these three tips, you?ll be well on the way.

If you found this helpful and you?d like to learn more reasons for affairs, please check out Dr Gunzburg to discover why your partner cheated and what you can do about it..

Source: http://www.azoomed.com/41782/are-you-fighting-with-self-doubt-and-low-self-esteem-after-an-affair/

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